Guard Dog

Community kennel

Meet the Guard Dogs.

The plugin handles the login nonsense. This crew handles suspicious hallway noises, snack-based investigations, and very important couch-based threat modeling.

Send your guard dog Browse the gallery
Ink-and-marker illustration of Nina, a black-and-tan French Bulldog making a stern guard dog face.

Chief Scary Face Officer

Nina

The original Guard Dog muse. Sweet as can be, unless you are an uninvited login attempt.

  • Frenchie
  • Door watcher
  • Tiny boss
Ink-and-marker illustration of Winston, a black-and-white Great Dane with his tongue out.

Senior Boop Inspector

Winston

A towering security presence with a deeply unserious tongue deployment policy.

  • Great Dane
  • Big feelings
  • Bigger nose
Ink-and-marker illustration of Laika, a black-and-white husky with blue eyes.

Perimeter Snow Scanner

Laika

Always alert, always gorgeous, and legally required to sing the incident report.

  • Husky
  • Blue eyes
  • Drama ready
Ink-and-marker illustration of Henry, a small scruffy cream dog.

Tiny Blanket Operations

Henry

A compact watchdog with major couch jurisdiction and no plans to surrender the blanket.

  • Scruffy
  • Pocket size
  • Cozy unit
Ink-and-marker illustration of Penelope, a fawn French Bulldog lounging with a serious face.

Couch Access Control

Penelope

Keeps the seating chart secure and maintains strict standards for snack distribution.

  • Frenchie
  • Fawn coat
  • Side-eye pro
Ink-and-marker illustration of Calliope, a cream French Bulldog smiling.

Morale And Wiggle Lead

Calliope

Turns suspicious vibes into tail wags. Extremely qualified in tiny chaos management.

  • Frenchie
  • Happy patrol
  • Zoomie certified
Ink-and-marker illustration of Sofia, a pale cream French Bulldog sitting upright.

Treat Desk Auditor

Sofia

Knows exactly where the good snacks are stored and will be opening an investigation.

  • Frenchie
  • Tall ears
  • Audit face
Ink-and-marker illustration of Stella, a black-and-white brindle French Bulldog looking up.

Floor Tile Surveillance

Stella

Small, serious, and fully prepared to file a report about whatever just happened.

  • Frenchie
  • Brindle
  • Lookout mode

Community kennel

Got a guard dog with strong opinions?

Send in a photo, their name, and the deeply official title they hold at home. Sofa sentry, snack auditor, mail carrier alarm system - all noble posts.

Submit a guard dog See the gallery
House rules Friendly photos only. No private info in captions. Bonus points for a ridiculous job title.

Submissions

Send us your guard dog.

Show us your household security professional, snack auditor, couch sentry, or very serious hallway inspector.